Feeling Lonely in the Kitchen

Good Morning!

 

First a big Hello to everybody, having found this site is a real "Gluecksgriff" (lucky grab) so far - I sit with my mouth dropped down to my knees at least for most of the time at what is possible with cookies. The only reason I dont "like" each and every single picture posted is, well, that it seems kind of ridiculous to do so

 

But this site also makes me feel even more lonely than I did before. No matter how hard I try, none of my friends and relatives want to share this hobby with me. So I am always alone in the kitchen, talk to me, myself, and I and sometimes feel like a lunatic. I can't help it, virtual reality only satisfies me to a certain degree. It is no real substitute for living people. Unfortunately there are not many people around where I live who decorate cookies.

 

Do you also know this feeling, and if yes, what do you do about it?

 

Oh, and if you happen to come from Germany, live in the greater Hamburg region, and might like some company once in a while - feel free to let me know!

 

Take care

Laegwen

Original Post

Hi, Laegwen! Welcome to the site!!

 

I share these feelings though perhaps in a different way. I find that it's really easy for me (and others) to become obsessed with cookie art, almost to the point that every small thing seems to trigger a cookie discussion. Also, it's very easy to be sucked into looking at cookie photos and talking cookie all day online. So I yearn sometimes for the days when we were less connected online, and when conversations were with real, live people about varied topics that went way beyond cookies.

 

Don't get me wrong, I love the online world and cookies (or I wouldn't have started this site), but there is always a need for balance. What I am seeking these days are more real-life non-cookie conversations.

Hi Laegwen  

 

I think I can understand a bit. It's not a very common thing in Denmark either. But I was thinking perhaps of proposing a little "social cookie decorating" every now and then with maybe a few other people. I'm an expat so thought I would let the International communities know over here and see if we can be a bit like a knitting club.... but with icing (that sounds weird haha). 

 

So that's maybe a thought. Sadly I am all the way up in Midtjylland which makes me about 3 1/2 hours from Hamburg, but if we pass your way (we do plan to see as much as Germany as we can over time) I will definitely give you a shout and see if you'd like to go for a coffee and cookie chat

 

It can get a bit lonely in the kitchen, I always have music on so I don't get too aware of the silence (I live in a very quiet village so it can get incredibly silent haha) and it definitely helps to have some things to go to (I also go to some Internationals events, language lessons at night school and a knitting club) and whilst we don't talk about cookies, it does help connecting with other people.

 

Marie 

 

 

Hi Julia,

 

Thanks for your reply!

 

I can imagine that your problem is more the other way round *lol*

As far as I can tell, the US have a very lively and active cookier community, and I am very grateful that with this site you offer the opportunity to partake at least virtually. Germany seems to be more or less a cookie-free-zone so far. I could only find one single person who is offering classes, way down in Munich. I suppose that classes would be a great way to find some personal contact and help cure my cookie-loneliness, alas, Munich is a little too far.

 

BTW, I have noticed that you will come to Copenhagen. Do you have any plans on visiting Germany sometime in the future? That would be so cool!

Originally Posted by LilleKageHus:
 
Hi Marie,
 
sounds lovely, count me in!
 
You are not that far away, though. Especially as my husband is from Flensburg and we are visiting up there regularly. I truly hope we can meet up sometime. Especialy as I really admire your cookies
 
All the best
Leo

Hi Laegwen  

 

I think I can understand a bit. It's not a very common thing in Denmark either. But I was thinking perhaps of proposing a little "social cookie decorating" every now and then with maybe a few other people. I'm an expat so thought I would let the International communities know over here and see if we can be a bit like a knitting club.... but with icing (that sounds weird haha). 

 

So that's maybe a thought. Sadly I am all the way up in Midtjylland which makes me about 3 1/2 hours from Hamburg, but if we pass your way (we do plan to see as much as Germany as we can over time) I will definitely give you a shout and see if you'd like to go for a coffee and cookie chat

 

It can get a bit lonely in the kitchen, I always have music on so I don't get too aware of the silence (I live in a very quiet village so it can get incredibly silent haha) and it definitely helps to have some things to go to (I also go to some Internationals events, language lessons at night school and a knitting club) and whilst we don't talk about cookies, it does help connecting with other people.

 

Marie 

 

 

 

Ahaha! Flensburg - the world gets smaller doesn't it Sometimes I do pop down there *whispers* for cheap baking supplies and marmite (which is illegal in Denmark) Don't tell anyone! 

 

Next time we are planning a trip I will shout you and we'll see if we can arrange something for when you are around. Thanks for the kind words, I have only decorated since Christmas but as you know - it's very addictive

Originally Posted by Laegwen:

Hi Julia,

 

Thanks for your reply!

 

I can imagine that your problem is more the other way round *lol*

As far as I can tell, the US have a very lively and active cookier community, and I am very grateful that with this site you offer the opportunity to partake at least virtually. Germany seems to be more or less a cookie-free-zone so far. I could only find one single person who is offering classes, way down in Munich. I suppose that classes would be a great way to find some personal contact and help cure my cookie-loneliness, alas, Munich is a little too far.

 

BTW, I have noticed that you will come to Copenhagen. Do you have any plans on visiting Germany sometime in the future? That would be so cool!

No, unfortunately, no immediate plans to come to Germany, though I would love to. As you said, there doesn't seem to be much demand for classes from your part of the world. Most of my requests come from South America, Spain, and Italy, followed by France and England. But not every request materializes into a class either. I get requests every week, but it takes quite a lot of planning and resource to pull off classes at such great distance. I also limit my classes to 6 or 7 big ones per year because it's all I can handle with the rest of my workload.

Well when I started with the cookie decorating thing I was allone. In that time there was a store in the city with so beautiful but expensive cookies, and they were not showing them exactly, I knew that store due they were selling frosting images for a Brand cookie called Mamut, so you could decorate it.  I took that idea for Halloween at my daughters kindergarden, then in Christmas. And in her birthdays I did fondant cupcakes about farms or individula cakes about characters. I was the only one doing that kind of  things in that time.  To decorate cookies I learn following the wilton steps for color flow.  But since my fist cookies and cupcakes, the mothers of my child mates started asking about that, and what I have used to decorate them,  I took all festivities available to gift with my cookies or cupcakes, it always turned in conversations with people I never have met otherwise.   I took other cook/bakery clases where I met people that were interested in my things and I share knowledge with them.  Now I don't meet people anymore due personal problems with my daughter's problems, but many people does it. There are meetings clubs for decorating or cooking, I think that taking classes in local cake stores can help you to know people near you with the same hobbie and to make new Friends.   The problem with me seeing  picutres about the beautiful work so many hand blessed people do is that I feel I will never achieve some of that work, it is like a kind of depresión.

Thanks for all the responses. I already feel a little less lonly, knowing that I am obviously not the only one

Maybe it's just a part of this hobby, that you mostly do it alone.

@Mily: I do get in conversations also with quite a lot of people about my cookies and they are all very impressed (or at least they say so), but whenever I suggest that I could show them how to do it, they panick *lol* But I will actually have my fitst class tomorrow. Piping leaves and flowers. Not exactly what I wanted, but the next best thing I could find. It would be a lot easier if I was into picture cakes *sigh*.

@Donaharrisburg: that's very sweet of you, here's a big hug in return!

@Julia: 6-7 tours is already quite a lot beside all the other stuff you do, do you sleep at all??? Maybe Germany will catch the cookie-fever in a few years. I'd definately come to a class of yours if I get a chance

@LilleKageHus: Can't wait fir an opportunity for a coffe-cookie-chat!

Originally Posted by Laegwen:

Thanks for all the responses. I already feel a little less lonly, knowing that I am obviously not the only one

Maybe it's just a part of this hobby, that you mostly do it alone.

@Mily: I do get in conversations also with quite a lot of people about my cookies and they are all very impressed (or at least they say so), but whenever I suggest that I could show them how to do it, they panick *lol* But I will actually have my fitst class tomorrow. Piping leaves and flowers. Not exactly what I wanted, but the next best thing I could find. It would be a lot easier if I was into picture cakes *sigh*.

@Donaharrisburg: that's very sweet of you, here's a big hug in return!

@Julia: 6-7 tours is already quite a lot beside all the other stuff you do, do you sleep at all??? Maybe Germany will catch the cookie-fever in a few years. I'd definately come to a class of yours if I get a chance

@LilleKageHus: Can't wait fir an opportunity for a coffe-cookie-chat!

I'm having some trouble keeping up with my workload right now, honestly. 

Mily, you are blessed!  I am sad to read that you have encountered life's mishaps but know that God will see you through.  I too was in a quandary and I have been challenged daily but found my way through.  Know that you, your daughter, your family  are in my prayers.  Your efforts are immeasurable but you will be profoundly rewarded.  I don't want to get too teary eyed...  God Bless!

If we could afford it, my teen daughter and I would jump on an airplane right now and come visit for a week! I can't tell you how much I relate to your loneliness. As I get sucked further into the cookie world I keep coming across all these amazing discoveries, and I have no one to talk to about whatever got me so excited that day. (I definitely drank the kool-aid.) I think a lot of people with unique hobbies or artistic inclinations feel this way.

I also have seen a lot of women/moms put their own needs aside in order to be there for everyone else. Nurturing others is a good thing, but you deserve to have family and friends give you some attention and interest too. If someone is really a friend, they should be supportive, and they get to eat cookies too. What could be better?

I have to say, I was very impressed and proud to see someone stand up and say "I am lonely" with dignity instead of feeling like a loser. As they say, the only difference between humility and humiliation is attitude. I live with chronic pain that has led to depression at times, but I feel so ashamed to share that with people, because they will most likely run the other way. After all, who wants to be around someone that might be a downer all the time, or really needy, or could turn out to be unbalanced? (I am proud to say that I am not a downer, and quite well adjusted, at least for now, lol) This is sad, because people with those serious issues need a friend and support more than anyone.

I am very lucky to have my 14-year-old daughter, because I have not left the house once since New Year's. Poor thing, I have been driving her crazy with cookies, and now we just do a trade. I will listen to go on about World of Warcraft and other video games, memes, cute animal photos, and cracked.com, but then she has to look at cookies on Pintrest with me and listen patiently while I show her my new gel color or latest creation. The side benefit to sharing things the other is not really into is that now I enjoy a game of Minecraft from time to time, and I got to see her eyes light up as she smugly made an almost perfect royal icing rose on her first try. It was so pretty sitting there next to the 30 smooshed rose-ish shaped lumps I had made! Because we both have ADHD, our home can be an endless afternoon interruptions, but we both benefit because we learn more about the world around us.

Maybe you could try looking at things from a different angle. Maybe instead of looking for other cookiers, you could befriend other types of artists. Not only do they have a lot of the same interests such as color, surface design, tools, and a creative spirit, but some crafts are almost directly related. For example, polymer and other clay can be worked like fondant and moldable chocolate, scale model builders are interested in airbrushing, miniatures, and molding, and multimedia artists and scrapbookers do a lot with templates, stencils, and layering interesting textures. Maybe an author would be interested in your cookie journey, or find inspiration for poetry or music in your designs or visa versa. I know I am inspired in my cookie designs by other artists all the time. I am sure you could come up with other hobbies besides arts and crafts as well.

One of my current plans is to look into how I can help others through my creative side. Cookies are the perfect thing to bolster people during hard times, and other people might be interested in sharing about cookies so they can help others too. Making cookies for auctions and fundraisers, giving classes for disabled people, helping create gift baskets for lonely senior citizens, or even just teaching troubled teens a craft are all wonderful examples of way to give back while being social. Here in the USA, girl scouts would jump at the chance to have someone come show them how to make fancy cookies, and some troops even join together to pay teachers for a lesson about historical crafts and skills. (I know many boys may not think it is "cool", but even Peeta from The Hunger Games novel knew how to pipe fancy icing decorations, and using that skill to camoflage himself saved his life, lol!)

I hope some of this helped give you some ideas, or at least reminded you that you are not alone, even when it might feel that way

P.S. I can't help but think that a lack of cookies and cookiers in your area could equal a great business opportunity for you. I have been thinking about how cool it would be to do cookie parties and sell hard to find cookie artist tools at a really good price.

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